The Water Nymph Gospels, Book 1
Fate had one job, and she bungled it. Badly.
For Moira, a.k.a. Fate, weaving fate tapestries for Zeus is a thankless job — what with the rampant sexual harassment, unequal pay, and incompetent management. Then Olympus crumbles, and the ambrosia really hits the fan. Moira tries weaving a final tapestry to avoid an eternity in Oblivion. Desperately short on time and yarn, she takes a radical step: she entwines her destiny with the fates of two mortal families.
Twelve centuries later, Andolosia Petasos dreams of being the next Da Vinci. Only Fate has cursed him to make hats. His 'crime' is having a Greek ancestor whose theft of Hermes' teleportation hat brought down all of Olympus. And the gods don't easily forgive that sort of thing.
Fate strikes again when Andolosia delivers a fantastical hat to the powerful Sansone de Medici. Andolosia gets lost in de Medici's palazzo and stumbles upon the feisty and beguiling Carlotta Lux. Carlotta claims de Medici is possessed by Apollo and kidnapped her because she descends from the legendary water nymph Daphne. Of course, Andolosia uses Hermes' hat to teleport Carlotta away. But instead of offering thanks, she is furious. His ill-timed gallantry thwarted her perfect chance to kill her captor.
Now on the run, Andolosia and Carlotta receive a prophecy about how to defeat de Medici and break free of Fate. All they have to do is find Hermes. In other words, they need a miracle.
Terry Pratchett meets Madeline Miller in this hilarious romp through the Greek pantheon, Italian Renaissance, and heavenly spheres.
My historical fantasy novel, Fate Accompli: The Water Nymph Gospels, Book 1, was published May 18, 2021 by Ellysian Press.
I published my debut novel, Kasper Mützenmacher's Cursed Hat (Curiosity Quills Press), in 2017. Foreword Clarion Reviews rated the novel 5 out of 5, nominated it as a 2017 Indies Book of the Year Finalist in the fantasy category, and shortlisted it for the editor's prize. Kirkus Review described Cursed Hat as "an undeniably imaginative journey" that "keeps the reader eager to uncover its final destination." I will expand and re-release Cursed Hat as Books 2 and 3 of The Water Nymph Gospels.
Aside from novels, I've published short stories, one of which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and humor pieces in Defenestration and The Satirist.
When not wearing my fiction writer hat, I practice consumer protection law in Washington, D.C. Rest assured your tax dollars are hard at work as I battle marketers of "modern miracles" like weight-loss earrings and penile-enhancing herbs. (Please let me know if you spot an ad for penile enhancement earrings.)
I graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in philosophy, which, surprisingly, did not qualify me for gainful employment. In short, it was on to graduate school. Well, almost. I spent a year touring with a professional comedy troupe, writing and performing sketch comedy at colleges in the Mid-Atlantic States. After that frolic and detour, it was a blur of law school, falling in love, cats, marriage, a dog, children, a fish, more dogs, another fish, a chinchilla, guinea pigs, and an assortment of uninvited rodents that have since burrowed through the foundation. Storybook.
I live in Kensington, Maryland with my wife, Laura. Stoney is our adult son.