The Water Nymph Gospels, Book 1
Fate had one job. She bungled it. Badly.
For Moira, weaving fate tapestries is a thankless job — what with the rampant sexual harassment, unequal pay, and Apollo's incompetent management. Then, the ambrosia really hits the fan. As Olympus crumbles, Moira desperately weaves a tapestry that she prays will spare her an eternity in Oblivion. Short on time and yarn, she must entwine her destiny with the fates of two mortal families, both cursed. What could possibly go wrong?
Twelve centuries later, Andolosia Petasos dreams of being the next Da Vinci. Only Fate has cursed him to make hats. It's not Andolosia's fault. After all, it was his Greek ancestor who stole Hermes' teleportation hat and triggered the fall of Olympus. The gods do not easily forgive and forget.
While delivering a custom hat to the powerful Sansone de Medici, Andolosia stumbles upon a prisoner, the feisty and foul- mouthed Carlotta Lux. Carlotta's ancestor was Daphne, the water nymph who turned into a laurel tree while fleeing Apollo's sexual advances. Now, Apollo has escaped Oblivion and possessed Sansone.
Of course, Andolosia uses Hermes' hat to teleport Carlotta away. But the divinely-possessed Sansone is hot on their trail, and they cannot run forever. Their best hope is to find Hermes. There's just one little hitch: Hermes is trapped in Oblivion.
Terry Pratchett meets Madeline Miller in this hilarious romp through Ancient Greece, the Italian Renaissance, and the heavens.
My historical fantasy novel, Fate Accompli: The Water Nymph Gospels, Book 1, was published May 18, 2021 by Ellysian Press.
I published my debut novel, Kasper Mützenmacher's Cursed Hat (Curiosity Quills Press), in 2017. Foreword Clarion Reviews rated the novel 5 out of 5, nominated it as a 2017 Indies Book of the Year Finalist in the fantasy category, and shortlisted it for the editor's prize. Kirkus Review described Cursed Hat as "an undeniably imaginative journey" that "keeps the reader eager to uncover its final destination." I will expand and re-release Cursed Hat as Books 2 and 3 of The Water Nymph Gospels.
Aside from novels, I've published short stories, one of which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and humor pieces in Defenestration and The Satirist.
When not wearing my fiction writer hat, I practice consumer protection law in Washington, D.C. Rest assured your tax dollars are hard at work as I battle marketers of "modern miracles" like weight-loss earrings and penile-enhancing herbs. (Please let me know if you spot an ad for penile enhancement earrings.)
I graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in philosophy, which, surprisingly, did not qualify me for gainful employment. In short, it was on to graduate school. Well, almost. I spent a year touring with a professional comedy troupe, writing and performing sketch comedy at colleges in the Mid-Atlantic States. After that frolic and detour, it was a blur of law school, falling in love, cats, marriage, a dog, children, a fish, more dogs, another fish, a chinchilla, guinea pigs, and an assortment of uninvited rodents that have since burrowed through the foundation. Storybook.
I live in Kensington, Maryland with my wife, Laura. Stoney is our adult son.